ARLINGTON, Va. — It's important to remember what Memorial Day is about: honoring the service members who laid down their lives for our country.
A Gold Star Family who lives in Anne Arundel County, Md. is honoring their fallen hero this weekend 14 years after he gave the ultimate sacrifice.
“[For] our family it’s Memorial Day every day, but for us, it’s a day that others can remember, and others can say his name," said Amy Stoddard.
Her husband, Army SFC James Stoddard, Jr. died in Afghanistan in 2005 during his third tour of duty.
His humvee fell off of a seven-foot cliff, killing him.
“As a military wife, it’s your worst fear," said Stoddard. "It’s always in the back of your mind, but you just don’t think it’s going to happen to you.”
She said the hardest part was having to tell her three young kids, who were 12, four, and 13 months old at the time.
Now, the four-year-old, James J. Stoddard, III, is almost 18.
“Right now, senior year, especially has been the time it’s hit me the most, because I’m growing up," said James. "There’s things I wish my dad was here to see, like me going to prom or me graduating or me shaving for the first time, or me taking a girl out on a date, like little stuff like that that people take for granted, I would want my dad to see.”
To help teach James and his sisters how to cope, Amy signed them up for TAPS, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, which has been running a grief camp for families of service members for 25 years.
“This is somewhere I can come where I feel welcome by everybody. Everybody knows what I’ve been through," said Stoddard's son.
After 10 years in the program, James graduated Sunday, determined to make his father proud.
“Almost as the years go by, it’s a little harder, because it’s another milestone, it’s another year, it’s another birthday party, it’s another football game that he’s missed," said his mom, Amy.
Amy does a lot to make sure no one forgets the man they're missing, from decorating her late husband's tombstone every Memorial Day to just sharing favorite memories with anyone who will listen.
She even moved her family to her husband's hometown of Odenton so her kids could be surrounded by stories of their father.
“Jamie could light up a room. He would walk in a room, have the biggest smile," she said.
Now, her kids have another hero to admire: Amy herself.
“She’s my role model, and it amazes me how much she does for me and my siblings," said her 14-year-old daughter, Makenzie.
Amy said she is just trying to make her husband proud every day.
“My husband just loved life," she said. "I know he wants us to live our life, be happy, and you know he would always say, you’re going to grow old one day, and you’ll be so beautiful. And, I don’t know how beautiful I’ll be, but I want to grow old, and I want to raise my kids and my grandkids."
She said most importantly, say their name.
“I just want people to remember him and know that he was this awesome guy that we miss," said Amy.
She lets him know every time she visits his tombstone in Arlington.
Amy bends down to kiss the hard stone bearing the name she'll never forget.
