WASHINGTON — Today’s Most D.C. Thing comes courtesy of comedian Dee Ahmed by way of Washingtonian Problems who reposted a tweet of his on Instagram that said “Broken DC metro escalators do not build character, it reveals it.”
To which Washingtonian Problems added “Especially if the elevator is broken too, so you have no choice but to hike up the steps.”
This is the Most D.C. Thing for accuracy. Especially at Wheaton and DuPont Circle. If the escalator is broken at either one of those stations you have some life decisions ahead of you. How badly do you need to get to where you’re going? That’s like a climbing to the top of Mt. Everest, only to realize the view at the top looks like... Wheaton.
As the late great Mitch Hedberg once said, “An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs.” It’s clear that he never traveled the DC Metrorail system. He would have rewritten that joke. No one wants to climb stairs those massive stairs formerly known as escalators.
If both the escalator and the elevator are broken, no one will blame you for turning around, getting on a train in the opposite direction and going back home. Whatever higher power you believe in is sending you a message to cut your losses. Or, you can press on. In the case of Wheaton, your perseverance will be rewarded with Peruvian chicken.
Once again, character. Revealed through janky Metro adversity.