WASHINGTON — Where has our sense of civility gone? It appears to be lost. Tossed away. Replaced with discourtesy or straight up rudeness. We see it's absence in our political discourse with inflexible ideologies replacing mutuality. Leaving no room to find common ground upon which to build relationships.
I thought about this while reflecting on the relationship of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Anton Scalia.
Here were two people who couldn’t have been more different. Their thoughts on how the law should be applied mixing like oil and water. But they had a warm, lasting friendship, built out of thoughtful respect for one another. And of course, a mutual love of good food, good wine and good music.
The two got along so well they received an award for civility from Allegheny College in 2017. When she was accepting the prize Justice Ginsburg challenged members of congress to find common ground saying, “Let us hope that they, and others of goodwill, will lead in restoring harmonious work.”
There was a time when politicians of goodwill would come together in a working harmony, giving and taking. Attempting to blend their ideologies for the greater good. They didn’t just sit in their separate political corners, arms folded, looking like cranky children. Work needed to be done.
Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill had major disagreements in the direction they thought the country should go, but they still found time to have long lunches together. Barack Obama invited John Boehner to go golfing. This even though the GOP had pledged to never work with him. And it was John McCain who asked the man who denied him the presidency to deliver his eulogy.
Somewhere along the way the environment changed. Hardened. Insulting nicknames and threats of retribution have become the norm. For some, ideology has been placed ahead of the work of politics. The giving and taking now seen as one side winning, one side losing. Courtesy and respect viewed as a liability.
Civility is a choice. It may not lead to a decades-long friendship that includes family trips and box seats at the opera, but it can lead to mutual understanding and respect. And more importantly: progress.