WASHINGTON — Today’s Most DC Thing comes courtesy of Reddit user "komAnt," who posted a photo of a parking violation that he or she received with the headline, “Is this a legit parking ticket? Seems shady.”
To be honest, it does look pretty shady. It said, “Vehicles with outstanding unpaid tickets will be ticketed and towed by D.C. Police and towed upon entry to any Goodspeed Parking lot.
Goodspeed Parking is a parking management company that uses sensors and a pay-by-phone system to detect parking violations and charge those responsible for them. Since they are a private company and not officially affiliated with D.C. Parking Enforcement, this is not a real ticket. Not unless you park in their garage again and their technology remembers that you owe them $30. Then they could get the city involved and things will probably get expensive.
This is the Most D.C. Thing because only in D.C. is the fear of parking tickets so real that companies will make bootleg ones and leave them on your car. Nobody wants to get towed or wake up to a boot on their front wheel. Even worse, Lord forbid you actually have to encounter a tow truck driver. They live to ruin people’s days. Imagine if your high school bully was legally allowed to steal your car, and that’s 80% of tow truck drivers in D.C. That’s why even goofy tickets like these have to be taken seriously.
To everyone driving into D.C. today, good luck in your perilous journey to avoid speed traps, red-light cameras, confusing street signs, overzealous meter maids, and now, homemade tickets from Goodspeed. God speed.