Anna Kendrick is getting candid about the struggles she dealt with after getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship a few years back.
The Pitch Perfect actress recently sat down with Dax Shepard for his Armchair Expert podcast and recalled how she realized the negative nature of her past relationship, and the toll it took on her when it came to an end.
According to Kendrick, the unnamed ex was someone who she was living with and was "for all intents and purposes my husband." However, she soon felt like she was "living with a stranger."
The actress recalled seeing a shocking and seemingly sudden shift in her partner's behavior and the way he treated her. She said he became "distant" and at one point admitted to having feelings for another woman, and then later refusing to address his remarks or acknowledge how it impacted their relationship.
Kendrick said that every time she tried to address the problems, it would end with her "curled in a ball" being screamed at, and not understanding how things got out of control. The only thing she felt sure of was it seemed, to her, like it was somehow her fault.
"There was an inherent thing of me being so rejectable that this person who loved me very deeply for six years, it suddenly occurred to him, how awful I was or something," she continued. "The shame, that lingers much longer."
After not being able to accept or recognize that she was in an abusive relationship for some time, she jeopardized her health, her career and her life to try to fix things.
"I did start going to Al-Anon while all this was going on," she said. "I truly dismantled my life, and at first, that was as a reaction to the accusation that I was crazy and I was the one causing the problem."
"I had a conversation with CAA, my agency, and said, 'I need to take time off, I have a mental health problem,'" she continued. "I started seeing two therapists a week and I started trying to learn to meditate and I got into Al-Anon and all of these things ended up being very wonderful things for me in the long run, but initially went into them thinking, 'Tell me how to stop being crazy. Tell me how to stop feeling anything.'"
Kendrick also addressed how she's shared her story to both deal with the shame she felt, and provide support for others who might be struggling and not even know it. That being said, she stressed that anyone who makes the choice to better their own lives and makes the choice to save themselves deserves all the credit for their strength.
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