The De-Spankulator

I'll never forget the day Mom came after us with the hairbrush.

My brother and I were 5 and 7. We had been ordered several minutes earlier to get in the shower..and the water was running. But you know how little boys can be. Mom kept on saying "Get in the shower," and we were like...it'll happen. One day. Ha!

Then--she just snapped. In her hand, the weapon of choice..a wooden hair brush. The target? Some little Black behinds. It must have been hilarious to see her waving that thing and chasing us into the shower screaming at the top of our lungs.

I teased Mom about that for years--never let her live it down in fact. It was one of the very few times she ever laid a hand on us. But should she have to go to court to prove she wasn't an abuser?

That's what a law proposed by a nurse in Massachusetts would do--make any corporal punishment illegal. Even a couple of smacks on the hiney for a couple of wild boys who surely deserved it.

She says its not about banning spanking but dealing with the unpleasant realities of child abuse. Please. Abusing a child is already against the law, isn't it? How would you ever enforce a ban on spanking, and what makes anyone think they've got the right answer for every kid in every situation?

Where's Mom's hairbrush when you really need it?

No, No NO!

That was me crying out this morning as I got the

news about the death of Sean Taylor. How could

this have gone so badly so quickly? Last night, he

was getting better, wasn't he? WASN'T HE?

Well, no. It turns out Sean Taylor wasn't getting any better. And this morning, thousands and thousands of us are left wrestling a lot more grief and loss than we ever expected to feel for someone we never met and didn't really know.

This email came in early today and pretty much sums it up---

I went to bed last night praying for this young man's survival, and was awakened 6:00 this morning by the sobs of my 15 y.o. daughter who was a Redskin fan. My sincere sympathy goes out to his family, friends and team.
....My prayers were with Sean last night, they are now for the capture of the person or persons responsible for his death. It is a great loss for whom I have heard was an outstanding athlete, and a well-respected young Black man; and great father. I pray they leave no rock unturned until they unclose what really happened in this home.

S. Middleton

So many questions unanswered, but let's leave those for tomorrow. Right now, all I'm thinking about is that young man--murdered. So senseless and stupid it just makes you angry and sad.

Sports guy Levin Reid and I used to joke about Taylor--how his own Redskin teammates might well get nervous because he hit so hard they didn't want to accidentally get in the way. So big and fast. A phenom. A play maker.

Sometimes these athletes are so inhumanly gifted we can forget their humanity. The inherent frailty we all share seems so far away from a guy who can run and hit and play like a Sean Taylor.

But now we are reminded, brutally--he was just a guy. Richer and more famous than most, but still struggling to find his place. To be understood.

The struggle is over, my brother. Rest now. We will miss you.

Click here if you'd like to offer your condolences.

Ghost

The 2nd game-killing interception in a row and it hit me--Washington Redskins Quarterback Jason Campbell might just be turning into (gasp) Jim Kelly!!

No, not that Jim Kelly!!!! The Jim Kelly who used to quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. I used to call him the most overrated quarterback in the league. He was big, strong and courageous. He had magnificient throwing arm. And Jim Kelly was the master of the drive-killing interception. People remember the Bills for being 0 and 4 in the Superbowl. Well, Jim Kelly led his team to all four of them and in those games Wikipedia says he threw 2 touchdowns and 7 interceptions. Horrendous.

Today as the Redskins moved down the field on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in that final drive that could have won the game, I knew their defense was exhausted. I knew the Redskins were due to get a break, having lost so many heart-breaking games. I figured this was our time!

I also didn't think it was possible that Campbell would make another bad play. Not after last week in Dallas. And certainly not after the funky pick off he tossed just a few minutes before to Ronde Barber.

Yet he did. Campbell, who was having a superb 2ND half, tried to hit Santana Moss in the end zone with just seconds left to play, and the Tampa defense made the pick look easy.

It was....Jim Kelly-esque in its ineptitude. And I was struck by fear. Could Jason Campbell be one of those great talents with a glaring flaw that will never be truly overcome? Maybe.

But, just so ya know--Jim Kelly is in the Hall of Fame.

The Holiday Rush

On holidays, we don't root for a certain team to win or lose, we just want the game to last as long as possible.

Its one of the not-so-dark secrets of the news business: Ya don't get holidays off like other folks. For some reason there's still news to report!! Whodathunk it? This year we got lucky though and CBS carried the late Thanksgiving Day game so we had no 5, 6 or 7 pm news and for some of us that meant a day off. Yeah baby!!

But usually we work. The only relief? Football. See, sometimes there's just enough football so a newscast might be pre-empted...but nobody really knows for sure. That puts the writers and anchors in a weird place. How much work to do on a show that will likely never air...but a show ya might just really need if the game doesn't last long enough?

Its a thin line. So instead of worrying about it too much I just hope the guys just keep right on playing. Go Tigers...but take your time. Please. Nobody in a hurry. Just enjoying the holiday.

Dang! LSU just scored. No problem. Go Razorbacks!! Yeah! Just say it with me--Oh-Ver-Time! Oh-Ver-Time! Oh-Ver-Time! Yay!!

Its All My Fault

I was on the phone with my boy Bill, and the Redskins were on the move. Then we hung up for the commercial and the whole world imploded.

I should have known better. You see, there are certain rules to watching sports and one of them is you don't change what's working. If the Redskins were coming back on the hated Dallas Cowboys while Bill and I were on the phone...then we stay on the phone until that game is done.

I knew that when I hung up. And I thought about calling back when the game resumed. But I didn't. And when Jason Campbell threw that critical drive killing interception with just a couple of minues to play--my phone rang. It was Bill.

"This is your fault, he said. "You should never have gotten off the phone." So instead of getting rid of Joe Gibbs, we know now that all they really need is fans with more prime time minutes.

And You Think I'm Wierd?!

Its got to be pretty damn strange to make the Weird News. Merely odd or just a trifle kooky isn't enough. Unless you've got video.


You see as George W. would say, I am the Decider when it comes to what makes the grade as strange enough to be the weird news of the day, yet benign enough for me to make fun of without getting in trouble with somebody's support group somewhere.



For example, anyone remember the story of the five inch leg hair going for the Guinness Book record? That was the perfect combination of the bizarre and the slightly gross. We even had a picture. Yes!

Maybe its just the 12-year-old boy in me, but I say gross-is-good when it comes to the weird news. Today, for example, its a choice between hundreds of century-old bottles of Jack Daniels that may have to be poured down the drain. And tiny robot cockroaches.


That's not really any decision at all, is it? Plus, we've got video of the robo-roaches. But this isn't it.






And that's the other thing. Even stuff that's only mildly bizarre can pass muster--if you've got video to go with it. You think I'd be doing all those 'Cows gone wild,' and more recently 'Kangaroo on the loose' stories if we couldn't actually show you those animals gallivanting through somebody's neighborhood?

That and the fact that I always get to do my classic "He was deeeelicious!" line at the end. Tracey used to make a yuk face every time I said that. Made the whole thing worthwhile.

Now though, (I'm told it was corporate edict) we have traded the Weird News for the 'Watercooler News' or something like that. The big bosses probably remember this water cooler:





Whose gonna tell 'em that's from 1967? Here's all the gossip action at the WUSA water cooler today.


Exactly. Its a little slow. That's why I wouldn't have changed the Weird News for anything. But what do I know? I'm the guy who really liked the story about the barber who'd collected a 5 foot ball of old hair he'd been cutting for like, decades. After all, he was going for a Guinness record.

Hate Me Tender

I am often surprised by the subject matter that gets folks worked up enough to write McGinty's Mailbag. This time though, I was shocked by the sheer bile.

You folks truly despise Marion Barry, don't you? I mean I knew he wasn't exactly Mr. Popular outside his natural (now shrinking) constituency, but when a Washington Post writer called him a 'crackhead' and 'useless' the depth of the Barry hatred was revealed.

I asked viewers to chime in on whether Post writer Tim Page ought to be fired for sending such a nasty email to the sitting Ward 8 councilman. Not only was the answer a resounding "NO!", it was so vitriolic that I hesitated to use most of the responses on the air. For example:

Given Barry’s past and not so distant scandalous history of cocaine use, purchasing illegal drugs AS A CITY OFFICIAL, whores, etc. and his more recent scandals regarding cocaine, whores (Déjà vu??) oh yeah, tax evasion, driving erratically, NEED I GO ON? Barry should just accept the fact that he will always be known at that crack addicted Mayor with scandal after scandal.

James

And look at this one:

Marion Barry, whose most famous political quote, immortalized on film courtesy of the FBI, was "I'll be damned, the bitch set me up," wants a reporter fired for writing something factually correct? Unbelievable! He is a crack-head! Let's remember too that he uttered those words while holding a CRACK PIPE, in a hotel room, thinking he was about to have sex with a hooker! I think Tim Page should have called Mr. Barry a whore monger too! Marion Barry's opinion is as worthless as he is a human being. He disgraced himself, his office(s), and the citizens of D.C. long ago; in doing so he should have made himself irrelevant - except for the immoral idiots who re-elected a crack-head whore monger to office - twice.

Scott

Alexandria, VA

Ignoring for a minute the fact that Barry was not about to have sex with a "whore" in that hotel room, but rather a Barry acquaintance the FBI was using to bait the trap....you should realize that most of the email I got on the ex-mayor-for-life was just about as nice as these two.

The lesson here is obvious: Marion Barry is not just held in contempt or viewed as irrelevant. He is hated. At least by some.

I'll admit I'm a bit confused by the passion that drives all this. Why is it worth it? I know race plays a part, but some of the emails came from folks who said they were Black. And there was only one email that defended him and it was too incoherent to use.

So what gives? 20 years after the Vista hotel sting, and long after Barry paid his debt to society, a lot of folks think he still owes and they apparently want to take it out of his hide.

The Brutal Reality

There are many reasons why the Washington Redskins are not a very good football team right now. But reluctantly I must now concede the number one reason is a fella named Joe.

Joe, (can I call you 'Joe'?) we love you. And I still remember how excited we were when owner Dan Snyer (another of the reasons but we'll save that for another blog) somehow convinced you to do an encore. But time and the changing nature of the NFL has made what were once your manageble flaws into glaring weaknesses.

Coach Joe Gibbs, I'm gonna give it to you straight. You have always been too conservative in your play calling when the game is tight at the end. We used to joke that your "rear end" (not the word we used) was getting tight, when you would run the ball with a 2 point lead late in the game and then count on the defense to "hold 'em." You were playing not to lose. Back then it worked most of the time-barely. But we're not joking about it anymore--there's nothing funny about losing.

Any number of things went wrong for the team today, but the critical play came when the 'Skins had the ball and a 2 point lead late in the 4th quarter. It was 3rd and goal at the Eagles 7. Jason Campbell was throwing like a madman today--hittin' everyone.

What do you do? Run a draw play that gets stopped 3 yards shy. You took the field goal instead of the touchdown that would have forced the Eagles to need 2 scores to win. Played it safe. But you didn't play to win, and showed no faith in your young QB who was having a helluva day. And by the way, I know Campbell was having that day because you took the brakes off the offense...which makes it even sadder that you pulled back at that crucial minute.

Coach, I will always luv ya, but I just don't understand why you wouldn't rather go down swinging. Go for the friggin' touchdown and dare 'em to second guess you!

I know that's easy for me to say. I don't have the responsibility you do, nor do I have even a fraction of your football knowledge.

But just 'cause its easy for me to say doesn't make it any less true.

You know what the worst thing is, though? Next week is Dallas. And I know if somehow, some way the 'Skins figure out a way to beat those damn Cowboys....I'm just dumb enough to get all excited and worked up about this team all over again.

The Golden Age

In the 500 channel universe TV is better than ever. Whooda thunk it?


I just got this email from a viewer named Chuck from Gore Virginia suggesting that the Hollywood writers' strike really isn't that bad a thing.

It's GREAT that writers are on strike. Gives them time to watch Red Skeleton, Lucy, Gleason, Tim Conway, JackBenny to see true comedy and maybe learn. Maybe they will discover 4 letter words and sexual content is not needed to get laughs and 2 killings, 4 rapes and 2 child molesters and 17 people with guns does not make drama. If watching a show with my granddaughter is embarrassing it's not funny.



Geez, Chuck have ya watched any television since 1974? Because I gotta tell ya I think TV has done nothing but get better and better. A lot of those comedy shows you mention just sort of did the same jokes over and over again. Tim Conway's old man act was funny...the first 93 times I saw it. After that it started to lose some steam.


And just how funny would it be today to hear Jack Benny yell "Rochester!" to his Black valet?
It's like anything else--tv is better today because today's performers are standing on shoulders of the old guys.
Do you remember Julius Erving aka Dr. J? Did you know as good as he was, Erving was bascially a one-handed player and could not really go left at all? Michael Jordan would eat his lunch, in part because he learned from Doc's game.

I respect Gleason and the rest your faves (though I would be remiss if I didn't point out there were almost no people of color on TV back then) but I respect them like I respect the '69 Green Bay Packers. Great in their time, but now? They couldn't whup Old Lady Johnson.

Let He Who Is Without Sin... Keep His Job

The scariest thing about what happened to Dwayne "the Dog" Chapman is not what he said, but where he said it.

These days we all know that what we write in an email, or even the fact we once paid a visit to nekkidlady.com is unlikely to remain private if someone really wants to know about it. But the bounty hunder known as "the Dog" is now likely to lose his livelihood because of what he said in a private conversation with his son.

And from where I sit, that just ain't right.

Oh, I heard the conversation. And I know what he said wasn't right either. He was way too comfortable saying 'nigger'. Way, way too comfortable. But you know what? I really don't care one whit what this man says in the privacy of his own home. As far as I can see, this is a guy with a show niether I nor anyone I know ever watches, doing his thing (whatever that is) in a free country. He is not making policy or hiring anyone.

His son put us in the position of having to care by selling Dad out and taping the tirade. But that doesn't change the basic fact that this was a private conversation and in a better world we would never, ever hear about it.

Let us leave aside the wonderful father-son relationship those two must have for just a second, and ask a question: How many of us could survive that kind of scrutiny? Are you telling me you've never said something to a friend-- perhaps told an off -color joke, remarked on a coworker's ethnicity, cursed out an enemy--said something, anything that if made public would leave you deeply embarrassed at the very least?

I'm betting we all have. The fact is, or at least the fact used to be that you have the right to say nasty things in the privacy of your own home. I know what 'The Dog' said was no accident; he admitted as much when he said he uses the N-word around the the house all the time. But I'm not worried about him. This is about me. And you, too.

Think about it. If Chapman can be fired for what he said in private to a family member, where does it stop? In case you haven't noticed, our newscast filled up with stories of people caught on tape doing this or that crazy thing. How long before someone can hear what you said in your home, or capture your text messages or read your IM's?

I'm worried that the we are on the verge of becoming a country where you can think whatever you want, but you better watch what you say. Anywhere. Ever.

And Now The Noose...

My Dad has a solution to the 40-50 nooses that have popped up all over the place since the Jena 6 controversy, but you may not like it.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate crimes, thinks the sudden surge in noose reports amounts to White backlash against the coverage of the Jena 6 case in Louisisana.

Whatever the reason, many people are furious over the appearance of nooses in places like the University of Maryland, a Coast Guard office, even a police station locker room in New York.

But my Dad is not one of them. While many of those voicing outrage are too young to remember the bad old days of Jim Crow segregation--My father can't forget them. He doesn't like the nooses, but says people are going about their opposition all wrong. Look at the email he dropped into McGinty's Mailbag...

I am an older man of color; and I remember when it was for real and the NAACP magazine would name the number of hangings that had occured that year. And, every year, the number was lower. And the time came when there were none; and our society has moved forward - far beyond the tragedies of the "lynch law."

Now, a "noose" is a joke, a semblance of a terrible period of our history that continues in the minds ignorant, stupid people. I say - pacify those simpletons. Start a fund (to which I will contribute) to manufacture replicas of nooses which will be distributed (free) to anyone who wants one. We could, even, have a contest to determine who could make the most innovative noose. We could put the winner's photograph in the Style section of the Washington Post. I am talking art here. I say - let's go for it!

Milton. Washington, D.C.

Pops is being a bit over-the-top here, but you get the message. Make fun of the perpetrators to rob them of their power to hurt. I get it. But I'm not sure everyone would understand. I'm worried about losing a sense of public outrage over attacks on any group, no matter how superficial or ineffective those attacks might be. Maybe it would just leave us hanging out there.