I Did Not Have Sex With That Gay, uh, Man...I mean, uh..

Political Sex Scandal Rule No. 1: If you have to say 'I'm not gay,' you probably are. Especially if you have to say it after a bizarre encounter in a public restroom with an undercover cop. Geez!

Of course I'm talking about Senator Larry Craig, now under fire after pleading guilty this month to charges related to allegedly soliticing sex from another man via a series of arcane signals I daresay most of us had never heard of. (or maybe you've heard of them and I'm just really out of the loop.)

Here's why Craig's ridiculous explanation that he was "misconstrued" makes absolutely no sense at all.

Women may not know this, but for most straight guys bathrooms are scary places. (Gay guys may feel the same way, I just can't speak for them.) You've got to expose your private parts in front of other guys. Therefore we've got lots of rules. If another man is next to you in the urinal you can talk to him, but eye contact is rare and you NEVER EVER look over and down.

And the stalls are even more....sacrosanct is the only word I can think of. NO conversations--heck, you really don't want anyone to see you come out of one.

And that's why Craig's story seems totally unbelievable. According to the cop, Craig was looking at him through the cracks between the stall doors, and then sat down next door and touched the cops foot with his foot!!!

Folks, let me tell you--This is under the category of Never. Would. Happen. Not by accident. No freaking way.

Craig's explanation? I was using a "wide stance." A wide stance? HA! It just doesn't get any funnier than that.

Look here Senator, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was all completely innocent.

But if so, you forgot Political Sex Scandal Rule NO. 2: Never give 'em a denial soundbite they can play over and over again to make you look really crazy.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up....

A little make up goes a long way. At least that's what I used to think. Now I know different. A little make up doesn't go very far at all when it comes to covering my wide expanse of forehead. Back when I was working the overnight at ABC in New York I would complain bitterly about the make up artist. "Why do you have to use so damn much?!! " was the basic rant. I'm sure she was sick of me. But I wasn't so happy either with goo-gobs of brown gunk on my head every night, and a brown river of the stuff flowing down the sink when washed it off. I thought I looked like a Japanese Kabuki dude.
But now kabuki make up girl has her revenge.
You see, I have to do my own make up here at WUSA, and after much trial and error I think I've just about got it right. I also think I'm using just as much of the hated goo-and-gob as she was. And what's worse, now I pay for it myself. And guys from now on, be nice to the woman in your life when she gets all pretty for you with eye liner and the foundation. This stuff is damn pricey!! Take a look at my little stash. Just that brush cost $50!!! And with the amount I use it doesn't last all that long.

Just for the record I prefer a nice MAC blot powder brushed lightly over StudioTech foundation. I wash it off with a gel that doesn't dry my skin so much. Never want to be dry and ashey.

But I would never use andy lip gloss or eye liner. That just wouldn't be manly.

Don't Say. Do.

I thought Michael Vick's apology speech was going just fine. Then he brought up Jesus.

Not that I've got anything against the Christian Savior. But c'mon. If you're a celeb caught in a shameful situation, claiming a religious conversion has become almost as cliche as going into rehab.

Vick may be sincere, but when he brought it up it sounded like something you might say if you want people to think you sound sincere.

I wanted to scream at the TV--"No Mike, No! Don't play the Jesus card...!!

On the other hand, when I listened back to the quote on CNN, I realized Vick said this-- "through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that's the right thing to do as of right now."

Two sentences, no hype or big pronouncements and he never mentions it again. Maybe, just maybe Vick really means it. We'll see...

There's Righteous, and Then There's Just Plain Right

Okay, so Michael Vick is a thug. What we used to call a nail-head. Under the light of these allegations of indescribable cruelty we now see clearly Vick's arrogance, his depravity ...his brutish bloodthirstiness, and everyone is feeling a huge jolt of righteous fury.

McGinty's Mailbag is full of your outrage. And I know its very heady stuff--getting all worked up to despise someone we know truly deserves it.

But I am asking us all to do the hard thing. Take a breath. Sit back. and just .... Consider. Michael Vick did truly evil things to dogs. But he didn't ruin anyone's life or take anyone's property. Does he deserve two seperate prosecutions and several years in prison? It seems like piling on, to use a football expression.

Does he really deserve to lose his entire career when there are people in the NFL who killed people while drunk behind the wheel and they're still playing? (See Leonard Little).

If Vick can find it in himself to change, realize how barbaric he has become and sincerely and publicly repent(and I know thats a big 'if'), is he any less deserving of a second chance than any of us?

People will ask me why I'm defending such an awful person, and I will say its not about him at all. Its about us and how we treat even the bad people.

Michael Vick lost touch with his humanity. I'm just saying in the midst of dealing out justice we should keep in close contact with our own, and remember his too.

Mob Justice?

Here in the newsroom we refer to the Michael Vick story as a 'big talker." As in a story that most everyone is talking about. And most of what we're hearing are angry people calling for everything from major prison time for Vick, to the end of his NFL career.
So far, few have been willing to take any part of Vick's side in this sordid tale , in part because we love dogs, but also because I think we lack courage. It takes some heart to stand in the face of the mob and say, "Not fair!" and to do it for a guy who is charged with a despicable crime. That's why I'm publishing most of this email from Dianna in Alexandria.

I am an animal owner and do not believe in cruelty to any of God's creatures. I am, however, a bit disenchanted over the way Michael Vick is being demonized.
....I have yet to hear any of our lawmakers tremble with emotion over the senseless killings and deaths of children and teens on urban streets in America everyday. Mr. Vick is a newsworthy story at the moment for America. Mr. Vick fits the profile of those who should be cast into the fiery furnace, convicted without due-process, forced to give up life and career, tried and convicted continuously in the court of public opinion long after the verdict has been rendered.
America has a crowded agenda of the highest priority - the welfare, safety and education of our children. Mr. Vick is way down on that list and we as Americans and the judicial system need to understand that. Mr. Vick needs to be chastised perhaps, if the charges are found to be actionable, but he does not need nor deserve to go to jail or lose his career. Let us rewind the tapes back to the Civil Rights Movement when the dogs were unleashed on human beings. Where were the placards then? Where were the concerned citizens of America?
...Mr. Vick's actions do not warrant a prison sentence or the ruining of his career. There are criminals walking the streets of America who need to be arrested and incarcerated. America is ruthless and unforgiving for the wrong things. America sees forgiveness in shades of color. Mr. Vick is a young man who was a few days ago, a hero, because he was entertaining "America" and filling the pockets of corporate sponsors. Now this same young man has been abandoned by all who professed to love him. He may have had a lapse in judgment, for allegedly being involved in the alleged infraction, but it does not warrant his being imprisoned or forfeiting his career.
If the smell of blood is so poignant in the nostrils of America, then perhaps a remedy more suited to the alleged crime would be to have Mr. Vick donate monies to the prevention of cruelty to animals. Then perhaps, the recipients of those monies could donate some of it to the prevention of cruelty to children. This nation will serve no one by sending this young man to prison. He is not a criminal. He is a young man who has perhaps made a mistake. America needs to learn how to teach, embrace and forgive for its history of punishing certain young men and forgiving others is deeply rooted in its misplaced priorities.

Dianna from Alexandria

Thanks, Dianna, for trying to inject a note of reason and sensibility into all of this. Nobody condones what Vick allegedly did-and I think jail time could be just what the doctor ordered if he is convicted. But lets be real: Vick is not a murderer, nor did he hurt any other human being. This crime calls for serious punishment but not without some perspective and the possibility of mercy as well.

Does This Hi-Def Make Me Look Fat?

When I meet someone in person who knows me only from TV they pretty much always say the same thing. The conversation goes like this:

Them: I like your show, even though I miss you on radio.

Me: Thanks. I appreciate the support.

Them: You know, you look a lot a) Better or b) younger or c) thinner in person than you do on TV.

Me: Thanks. I think....

I mean is that really a compliment? Cause what it could mean is "You look really bad on TV. Glad to see you're not so montrous in person."
While they say television adds ten pounds, I think almost no one looks as good on television as in real life and it has nothing to do with your sparkling personality.
Its because in high def or no def, a televisiion picture is flat. And we people in all of our bumpy glory are notoriously 3 dimensional. Squeeze the 3D into a 2D space and you get all sorts of shadows and reflections that by necessity make us look ...well....not quite ourselves.
Think about that next time you wonder how someone so funny looking with no hair got that anchor job.
On the other hand, I'm not sure this really explains why my head looks so dang big......

WAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

All week long I've been getting phone calls, emails and text messages and they all are asking the same breathless basic question: You gonna be in Vegas??!
Why Vegas? Well, besides the usual allure of the bright lights and little city where whatever happens remains blessedly secret, Las Vegas is the site of this year's National Association of Black Journalists Convention.
I'd like to tell you that people go to this thing to get jobs or attend seminars--but lets be real. Sure, there's some of that going on but that's not why every Black journalist with a plane ticket and some vacation time is making their way to Sin City this week.
Everyone that is--except me. Suffice it to say they need me here this week...something about doing the news....and all of my rolling on the floor, kicking my legs and screaming did not soften the heart of Tony the Scheduler.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself, not really. I've been to a bunch of these things before. Plus its really hot there...and that whole 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' thing is a myth....just advertising. right? RIGHT? Oh I get it. You're not around this week. Off to Vegas. Well I hope you do something really really juicy..and someone tells everyone. So there.

Can't Smile Without You.....

People often say to me, "You've got a great smile," and I say "Thanks" but I'd be a lot more flattered if my teeth had not become hellish engines of torture, occasionally chewing food but mostly providing full employment for my dentist.

I used to say my dentist had nicknamed me "summer home" because I had bought him one.

When I show up at his doorstep, I'm no longer shocked by the bad news. Some people fear root canals. Ha!! Root canals actually fix your teeth. For me, a tooth that can be repaired is very good news.

Cavities? Those are for rookies. I've had crowns, implants, implants to replace failed implants, not to mention extractions, and Invisiline (that's sort of like braces with extra pain).

Blame a love of sweets (never saw a gummi bear I didn't like) and my
genetically weak enamel, but whatever it is, it ain't
pretty and its expensive. I spend the money cause
you can't be on TV with a jacked up "grill."

But the reality is a decent looking smile is crucial for life, no matter what your job is. Think about it. Would you kiss someone with really bad-looking teeth? More importantly, would you hire them?

Lynn Locklear is a local dentist who knows the answers to these questions is probably 'no'. She cares enough to do some pro bono work for patients who can't afford her expertise. But like most things, the need far outstrips her ability to help.

I did a story on Lynn's efforts to bring smiles to some faces a few months ago. Today I checked back with her for an update. What she said may surprise you. Or maybe not...

Hey, Look Ma! I'm in the Satellite Center!

I think I laughed out loud the first time I heard of a room called "The Satellite Center." It was back when I worked for another local station. And someone was doing a live shot "from the Satellite Center." WUSA has done the same thing at times. I'll bet most everybody does.

Hilarious! Satellite Center? You gotta be kiddin me. Is the reporter in there personally taking in feeds direct from space with the latest information? Sounds like that's what we want you to think, right? Else, why do TV from a small dark room with a backround lit by tiny viewscreens? Feeds from various "satellites," no doubt.

Now THIS is a satellite center!!

But just because it strikes me as funny, doesn't mean the whole Satellite Center concept doesn't work.
Actually, it seems to.
Today when one of our reporters did a story on the Minneapolis bridge collapse from the Satellite Center nobody was laughing.
And what that really gets to is how much of the modern news business is really show business. The reporter can't get to where the news really is, i.e. Minnesota, so he or she goes 'live' from a room that appears to have a connection, however tenuous, to where the action is. We're not really there, but we sorta kinda are in a way....on the scene.

Now don't get me started on the Weather Center, the Traffic Center, and our latest addition, the Web Center....