It Takes One To Know One

Last week my family and I made the annual pilgrimage to Los Angeles to spend Passover with the west coast branch of our family. The argument that took place over my sister-in-law's overcooked brisket is a topic for a completely different blog entry.

Last Friday, my wife and I decided to take our 4-year old son to Universal Studios for the day. he's a "Shrek-a-holic", and they have this new "Shrek 4-D" Movie experience, so I figured we couldn't go wrong. I knew the ticket prices at theme parks had soared over the last several years, so I was reasonably prepared when I walked up to the ticket kiosk and saw that general admission was $61, but the thing that made me sick to my stomach was the other option that was available on the pricing menu -- for $109, you could buy a "Front of the Line Pass". As the name indicates, this pass enables the bearer to bypass the long, scoliosis-inducing waits at each and every attraction, and cut directly to the front of the queue.

I almost threw up in my baseball cap.

Let's consider the lot of the typical working class family of four, for whom a trip to Universal Studios is not a minor economic imposition. After four admission tickets, parking, lunch for everyone, plus a couple of souvenirs, etc, dad is out-of-pocket for about $400 without blinking. Are you going to tell me that after spending that much money, this family STILL has to feel like second-class citizens? How does mom explain why all the rich folk with the "A-Gate" passes dangling around their necks get to breeze by them to the front of the line, while they melt in the sweltering heat? If there is one place on earth where life should be more egalitarian than that, it's inside a kids-oriented theme park.

I'm not sure who's more culpable here – Universal for creating such a piggish system that happily collects the money of its working class patrons, only to relegate them to the steerage-class compartment...or the rich folks who indulge in the "A-Gate" option, considering themselves too important to wait in line alongside the "Common folk". What's the message the kids glean from this? -- "Everyone can see Shrek, but if you drive a Chevy, you can see him in about 90 minutes."?

Don't get me wrong -- I love free-market economics, and I'm all for innovative revenue streams in corporate America, but I think some things are a matter of class, and making one kid wait longer to ride a roller coaster because his dad doesn't make as much money as another kid's dad, is a reprehensible form of discrimination, and it makes me think that Universal did such a great job making a movie about an ogre, because it takes one to know one.