The Anniversary

It seems almost obscene to me that we, and I mean we as journalists, are talking about whether or not Brittany Spears is fat on this day. Does it dishonor the people who lost their lives on this day six years ago? Or is it a good sign that America has moved on from the events of that horrific day? I can only answer for myself. It seems beyond belief that we are talking about Brittany's weight on a day like today.

Last year at this time it was on the front page of every newspaper. After all it was the five year anniversary of the tragic events of that day. Today you had to dig to find 9-11 coverage in the papers. On the front page is the 9-11 story of this day. General Petraeus is plastered everywhere.

But I keep thinking back to this day six years ago. I was comforted to know I'm not alone. I was struck by a new Zogby poll that shows four out of five Americans say September 11th, 2001 is the "most significant historical event of our lives." Clearly that's the case for me.

I've recounted the events of that day so many times. I was stuck in traffic and witnessed the American Airlines jet slamming into the Pentagon. I feel like my life is broken into two parts. The life I lived before the attacks. The life that came after. I will never forget the suffocating depression that seemed to hang over me on that day, and the days that followed.

Now I can look and see how 9-11 sent my life on a path I never would have predicted. It's no small irony that a week before the anniversary I was informed that I will become a board member of the Dart Society starting in November. I am committed to their mission. They believe in helping journalists confronted with trauma, as well as victims of trauma. They have definitely helped me.

I guess in many ways my life is richer because of the events of six years ago. I think it's because I have met like minded journalists I never would have known had the attacks never occurred. Because of the Dart Society I was able to spend time in New Orleans listening to journalists who witnessed a wounded community and felt helpless. I told them I knew how they felt, and I did. I listened as they expressed themselves about what it's like to talk to your children after a horrific event when you know you don't have any answers and you seem powerless to comfort them. I told them I knew how they felt, and I did. That's powerful life changing stuff.

Of course if you boil September 11th, 2001 down to one emotion, it's about hate. So I guess it's not surpising that for years I've received my fair share of hate mail, and hateful phone calls. Here is an example of an e-mail I got just a month ago.

Mike,I have just seen a clip of you defending your account of
seeing the
AmericanAirlines plane crash in the Pentagon and the
amazing
'accordian-like'collapsing of the wings, You forgot to mention a
few
other
amazing things that were evident at that moment - 1. The
widows next to
the crash
hole where the wings would have contacted the
wall were not broken.
2. The
two 9-ton titanium engines where nowhere to
be seen, 3. The lawn that
the
plane slid along was pristine (tennis
anyone?), 4. The 3B's (baggage,
bodies
and blood) weren't anywhere to be
seen. I guess you were so
traumatized
at witnessing such a horrific
event that you forgot about all
these
other unbelievable happenings.The
truth will come out and those who
participated
in the greatest hoax in
the history of the planet will be
punished. You are a sad
excuse for a
human being. Regards, Tom

I have gone to great lengths not to change a thing about Tom's e-mail. That's in stark contrast to the people who have selectively edited my words from that day six years ago to support their claims. All of the e-mails carry the same tone.

The hate mail is just part of it. There is also a lot of venom directed at me on the Internet. All of it comes from people who don't want to believe that a jet hit the Pentagon. The internet used to produce phone calls when I was at USA TODAY. I used to talk to the people on the phone, and respond to every e-mail. Over time I realized that it didn't matter much what I said. Their minds are made up. If I remember correctly I answered the e-mail from Tom this way.

Thanks for your kind note. Thanks also for having such an open mind.

Warmest regards,

Mike Walter

Troy Hanford (pictured at the left) is a friend of mine who has met some of the conspiracy theorists. He believes that the reason they cling to the conspiracy theory is that the truth is just too tough to take. So they come up with an elaborate conspiracy theory and they make it their mission to expose it, and bring the perpetrators to justice.. By doing so they gain control. I don't know if that's accurate. But I do know the truth of that day is incredibly painful.

It was a day that started like so many others. Too many good people went through their usual routines. They took their showers, ate breakfast, jumped on the road to the office, and settled in at work with a cup of coffee. Then in the blink of an eye their lives were over.

I learned the most powerful lesson of that day when I got home after what had to be the longest day of my life. My daughter who was in junior high school at the time greeted me at the door. She threw her arms around me and hugged me as if there was no tomorrow. It went on and on. I think she knew what I knew. Too many children in our country would never get the chance to do what she was doing. My eyes moistened as did hers, we didn't say a word, we didn't need to. So that's how I plan to honor those people that didn't get a chance to come home six years ago today. I plan to hug the people I love today, I think if your smart you'll do the same.