Live AT 5!

Summer is great for just about everything except snow boarding and news. But while the mittens and funny hat are deep in the closet this time of year, we still have to "feed the beast" known as 9News Now at 5. Sometimes the dearth of good material sparks creativity, and the newscast surpasses all expectations. Unfortunately, Wednesday July 25, the day before I was to go on vacation, was not one of those days. Here's how it went down:

4:58. The taped open for 5pm news is cancelled. But nobody tells the anchors. Therefore I'm blathering on to Tracey about some nonsense when suddenly.....We're On! Great.

5:02 . Things are not improving. Dave Statter's sound bites and video somehow didn't make it. So his live shot is just him...standing there... talking. Dave pulls it off 'cause he's a true pro. But I'm sure he'd rather forget it ever happened. We're on a roll!!!

509. We made it to the first break without further incident. But uh-oh, Producer Ben is in my ear --"Derek, we have breaking news. Its your read!" Things are picking up, and only 2 hours 21 minutes to vacation. Yes!

510. Ooookay. Its two senate office buildings evacuated. Which sounds like a big deal...until you read its because of the smell of smoke. Not even real smoke...just the smell of smoke. Somehow I'm thinking this ain't Osama Bin Laden at work.

5:14. Its not Osama. Its not anything. Fire department showed up. Apparently they didn't even smell the smoke.

5:16 Topper and I go outside to do weather. He's got some cool lava video. Good thing, 'cause there is nothing else happening out there today. Even the weather is moving slowly. Welcome to Washington DC in July. 1:46 to vacation and counting.

5:22 CBS news story says your friends help make you fat. If you've got fat friends...you're 57 percent more likely to be obese. Geez!! Don't fat people have enough trouble? Now they get the blame for your love handles too...!? Tracey and I chuckle about it. She loves working with me.

5: 23 Tracey hates working with me. I just stepped all over her read trying to get fancy with an ad lib as we go to break.

5:30p A sure symptom of my impending vacation--I try to distract Topper and perhaps make him laugh by doing a dance and making faces at him as we begin the 4th block with a weather hit. He doesn't fall for it. Damn!

5:31 We go to an Audrey Barnes story about kids and My Space predators and producer Ben tells Tracey, "plenty of time to talk with Audrey." That's producer-speak for we're short on news-- stretch this thing out and eat some time. Hey, its one of those kind of days. Its okay...1:59 and counting to vacation.

5:48 The E block. You know, I used to hate this and think it was a waste but I'm kinda getting into it now. Hey, did you know Jessica Alba has broken up with her boyfriend? Does anyone still say, "Hubba Hubba?" I'm thinking if they do, for sure they are way too old for Jessica Alba...

5:52. Topper does another weather hit and shows video of some crazy man swimming in the artic to demonstrate global warming. I really really really wanna make a joke about 'shrinkage' but I chicken out. Punk.

5: 55 Brett Haber comes up with a story on a 87-year-old guy who swims competitively for a senior team. He's in a speedo. Not Brett. The old dude. And he looks damn good.

5:56. 5pm news is done. 1:34 to vacation. Life is good.